Have you ever wonder for all those years of living did you became the person you thought you would be when you were a kid or you're just someone that you swore you'd never be?
I often have these random thoughts late at night. Thinking about the future kill me at times. Being afraid about who i end up with will i have the opportunity to live my dreams with yasser or even will i succeed in making my parents proud. The truth is whenever i got the chance to think about it. I get terrified. Because i often have these thoughts that i may not be who i wanted to be or even i may not own the good things in life in the future.
But one thing that nenek kept telling me was life goes on no matter what and god is fair. For everything you've done brings you to another road that you should be prepared to take all the risks that are planned for you. And all of those situations will lead towards something else. If it turns out to be good that's what i call happiness. If it turns out the other way around maybe that's god's way in telling us to be tougher and strive harder and of course remember 'him' through our good and bad times.
We can't predict the future. That's why.
Kadang kadang pilihan yang baik tak semestinya bawa kita kepada something yang baik hasilnya. Kadang kadang pilihan yang tak patut kita buat beri impact yang besar dalam hidup. Ada masa baik ada masa buruk. Kalau buruk pun untuk kita belajar. Dan kita tak ulang kesilapan yang sama.
Tapi kita manusia kan ?
Kalau ulang tu sebenarnya memang kita. Nak sedapkan hati kata tengah usaha lagi mana tahu hasilnya berubah. Tapi ada masa terselit perasaan rasa diri tu jahil sebab ada alternatif lain tapi masih berkeras nakkan yang sama.
Depends pada hati masing masing. Hidup sendiri sendiri pilih.
Secara jujur. Aku sentiasa cuba ingat kan diri behave dan cuba perbaiki cacat cela diri ni dari segi perbuatan tutur kata kesungguhan dan sebagainya. Ada masa aku gagal tapi itu tak bermakna aku berhenti mencuba. Aku tahu hati ini kental. Kalau tak kental. Dah lama aku lari hujung benua. Tapi aku tak pernah terfikir nak buat. Mungkin sebab aku pun malas sebenarnya.
